I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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