dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
