You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
