Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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