Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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