he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
