Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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