I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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