is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
