i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
