think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
