"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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