I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
