If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
