dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
