i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
