She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
