Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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