if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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