I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
