An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
