You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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