I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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