So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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