i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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