his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
