She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
