Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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