:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
