the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Come on in and take your pants off
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