But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
