I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
