SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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