i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am one with the molecules
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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