Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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