All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
