and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
