put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
