which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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