I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
