I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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