He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
