There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
