I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
