I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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