I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My cat gives me a boner
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
