i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
