You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
