Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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