Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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