It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
