the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
