I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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